I am calm now.
I have worked out things that I never thought I had.
I have traveled on a very long and deep journey.
I now know that I will never repeat those very hard learned lessons. I don't regret any of them.
I have lost more money than I even thought that I had....
Even if I lose some more, I will do what I need to do to reload my account and continue.
I have proven to myself that I can find very good entries on very high quality setups. Today, Friday, Feb. 19, 2010, I finally did function as the trader that I need to be. I can't say I wanted to be this trader, because I didn't know what this kind of trader was. I am in brand new psychological territory.
If I don't see or if I fail to see the setup and entry that is of the highest quality, I won't trade it because I have no reason to trade it.
I trade quality setups that are not intended to be scalps, if a trade is exited on less than a couple of points of gains and looks like a scalp, then that is only because the market environment turned to increasing volatility and I decided to advance my stop loss so that this trade has no chance of being a loser. (see today, Friday, Feb. 19, 2010 trade #1 exit)
There are traders just like me who are successful.
I am aware of my emotional state and know that it affects my trading and I will take time off from trading in order to regain control of my state before failing due to trading in the wrong state of mind.
I have no reason to be frustrated. The market is the market. It does what it will do. It doesn't know me, it doesn't care about anything. It is not an entity capable of anything, it is a statistical footprint of where prices were.
I would rather not trade at all and save my money and not expose it to any risk, but when there is a setup with support of internals that has a very high odds of the trend continuing in the current direction or continuing in the new direction that it has changed into, then I may, if I feel good and everything is aligned, I just might enter that trade. I might watch it. I might sim trade it, I might screen cap it and blog it. I might see what others are doing about it on Stocktwits. Whatever I do, I won't judge my response.
Nothing will frustrate me. I have no expectations. Sometimes follow thru happens, sometimes it doesn't.
I am allowed to kill a trade, not take a trade, tighten up my stop, tighten up my target, decide to kill for any number of reasons, I am flexible and I focus on the system that I know, that's all there is.
I will take time off from the market when I need it, or feel it. I know myself well, if I am tired, distracted, hungry, unprepared, have any unmet need, nervous, excited, etc. I will respect myself and my work done so far to not regress and just let the market go without me. It doesn't control me, I don't control it, there is no 'we.'
I free myself from the market.
I will enjoy this and have fun. At any time if I am not enjoying the analysis and having fun, I will stop.
I once thought that there was no creativity in market analysis, but I now feel that there is. There are theoretical formations that never occur exactly as they are described. The fun puzzle, then, is to creatively adapt the theoretical formations to the infinite combinations of market formations.
This ramble is done!