Thursday, February 18, 2010

End of Day Analysis - I Found the Entry of the Day And Screwed It Up But It's Not All Bad


So I am getting to feel better regarding my new lack of urgency to trade and my new lack of compulsion to trade and my new respect for risk and I can go on and on, but that's already in my 800 handwritten pages of my personal journal. The part of today that is not all bad is that I am not trying to trade anymore. I am just analyzing and finding the entry. Once again, I did. So it's not all bad.

The reason why I wasn't really ready for the entry is the remnant of my prior trader self. I was doing all the right things today, however, and this is just crazy, but not nonsense, I was just as pessimistic of my chances for success as I had become due to my prior trader self's poor trading. So here I was today, being a skilled analyst, but still not believing yet how far I've truly come. I am giving myself time to get it, even tho I really don't have time, I don't have any other choice. I am going to keep analyzing and find the "the" entry and one of these times, I will take it and I will have the right stop and it will work out fine. When doesn't matter any more because I am allowing myself to do it when I feel I'm ready. Maybe just writing this here will speed that up. Maybe it will be tomorrow. Stay tuned.

4 comments:

  1. I can already tell you are light years ahead of me.

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  2. I saw your blog, it looks like you have some really good days and good trades. So I'm not sure I would agree, especially if you knew about my equity curve. So I was shocked by your comment that anyone would think I knew what I was doing. I've really been struggling with this for a long time. I've pretty much felt I'm not ahead of anyone!

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  3. Thanks, it means a lot to hear that. My method is ok I guess, the problem is myself:

    I'll have a few good days and then, for some reason, I'll deviate from my method which gets me all emotional, which leads to mistakes that eat up the profits... and at the end of the month I'm basically treading water.

    There's other issues, like not knowing how to stop when the going is good, etc.

    Anyway it just sounded as if you've done some very detailed soul-searching, so you're definitely ahead of me as far as that area is concerned. (I'm still scratching at the surface.)

    I found this bit particularly helpful:

    I am allowing myself to do it when I feel I'm ready.

    It made me realize that some of my mistakes are due to forcing myself to trade when I don't feel ready.

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  4. I like your comment because it is amazing how identical the issues are among traders. I have had exactly the same issues and lots more.

    Well, I added that it 'might be tomorrow,' and perhaps, giving myself the gift of removing the need to trade, I freed up my mind to be able to function better. I had a weird feeling like today I was going to finally function better as a trader, and I did.

    I didn't make much at all, but I am stoked right now regarding the 'how,' I did it. And then, after a couple of correct trades, I let it all go again, and took the entire afternoon off to go spend time with my friend who needed some help with her class she needed to take on line and I just enjoyed the remainder of the day. Weird for me.

    My next challenge is to repeat this day. so I'll be meditating for 2 days on what I learned and was able to do today and this week. I will be hand writing a lot in my journal to be sure I know exactly what I've been thru and how much I want to sustain this.

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