Summary: Up late, schedule was off, stuck to rule of no trading if not sufficiently prepared. Didn't trade, learned a lesson, no regression, am session messed up, stopped at noon, (another rule, no midday trades bc of low volume little follow thru) tried pm session, had low energy, passed on some setups that actually followed thru. Missed the big one at end of day. No gain, but more importantly, no loss, because I never once regressed or allowed frustration or anger or boredom, etc, to affect my behavior.
Details: Last night I had a weird thing happen, it never happened before with trading. I had anxiety thinking that I might regress and repeat old habits that got me into trouble. So I blogged it and didn't get to sleep on time. I made a plan and put it on the blog. My subconscious worked well for me, I woke up 3 minutes before my alarm exactly 3 hours before market open like I had in my plan. Subconscious works in our favor a lot, luckily. Even without enouth sleep it knew the plan. Then I decided to sleep more. I also decided to miss market action and prepare; in the past I actually did, many, many times, try to trade without the prep and paid for it.
So that's why I say the bad news is the anxiety night before, the schedule lapse, the missing action, the no trading, the less than confident analysis leading to passing some setups, and another day of psych rather than tech. No trading gains.
The good news is that I was disciplined in my control of my errors. I knew what I did wrong, corrected it as best as I could, did not allow it to negatively influence my equity, never once lapsed into poor trading or old habits, knew I was feeling off and decided to not have 100 percent confidence and therefor analyze and work just as hard, but not execute. This may seem to be not so big, but it is for me because of my prior behavior of doing all those things that I managed to not do today. No trading loss.
So I post this even tho it's rather embarrassing for a reason; I actually progressed in the psychological trading realm. I am far much less of a mess today than the prior 20 months. This is ugly, but my handwritten journal from that period is far worse! This is the end of the adjusting, imagine the beginning and middle....
I'm getting that feeling I got Thursday, it may all click soon for me, it may not, but feels good for tomorrow.